“You don’t have to be more attractive. You don’t have to be attractive at all. You don’t have to attract anyone or anything.
You are not a magnet, damn it.
You can make anyone love you (trust me) but you don’t need to make anyone love you.
You should be you for you and only you.
And yes I am talking about you and you and you.”
And if that dude in the coffee shop treats you poorly because you’re not wearing makeup today or are fatter (or thinner) than his preference, that’s on him, not you. You deserve to be treated fairly and politely and respectfully whether you’re wearing Spanx or have visible panty lines (horrors) or forgot to shave your legs or have the most perfect manicure or never wear polish at all.
The way other people react to your appearance is their responsibility, not yours.
Making it seem like your responsibility helps cosmetic and clothing and diet companies make billions of dollars per year, but is it doing you any good?
Yes, there are real-world consequences for women who don’t meet — or aren’t visibly trying to meet — the airbrushed, unreal beauty ideal that’s put forward in every magazine and TV show. And whether you try to meet that standard is no one’s business but your own.
But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to, and that the consequences others would impose on you for it are bullshit. You are so beautiful right this minute with your imperfect skin and your messy hair and your radiant soul, whether you put on makeup and shaved your legs this morning or not. xoxo